10 Lessons from 2019: A Year in Review | Kansas City Wedding Photographer

2020 is here to stay, and we’re all here for it with a fresh slate of possibilities and opportunities. I don’t know about you, but I am a goal-oriented person, so I love to start a new planner (yep, I’m old school) with a fresh set of goals - and a plan to achieve them. That being said, it’s so important that we look back at where we’ve been and what we’ve learned in order to grow and step into the new with no regrets. With that in mind, I am sharing ten lessons I learned over the past year, in the hopes that my experiences may help you. At the very least, this record will serve as something I can look back on in years to come and remember where I’ve been.

1. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

Sometimes, our own mindset is the very thing holding us back from growth.

This was a year of many firsts. In February, I said goodbye to the part time job I had worked for over four years. It was difficult and a little scary to part ways, but when the Lord made it clear that it was time to go, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. This “yes” made it possible for my business to grow in ways I never would have dreamed, while allowing me to homeschool our children and serve in various ways. I would not have been available for any of that had I chosen to say “no” to what seemed like a big risk and stayed comfortable instead.

2. Make sure things are done right the first time.

It’s all well and good to hire out help or outsource, but at the end of the day, if your name is attached to something, make sure you’ve personally vetted every component before it goes out to a client.

When you’ve worked to build a brand and reputation in business, it’s vitally important that you maintain that at all costs. Sometimes, we all need to outsource or hire help…but if you’re going to do that, make sure your help is trustworthy and triple check everything before delivery. Doing this will not only protect your brand, but it will also save you money and valuable time spent to clean up or make right any mistakes.

3. Know how to apologize - and when to do it.

Making an excuse or saying “I’m sorry” isn’t an apology. A genuine apology acknowledges the wrong and how it affected the other person, and asks forgiveness for the inconvenience and error. In business, a good apology also offers a solution.

We are all human. Everyone makes a mistake now and then. When mistakes do occur, it is imperative we know how to make amends and move forward to make the resulting experience a positive interaction for all involved. If a mistake happens, own it! Don’t make excuses. Apologize for the mistake and ensuing inconvenience, then set it right! Fix the problem, or if the situation warrants it, offer complimentary services or a partial or complete refund. Do what is right, learn from your mistake and let it go.

By the same token, know when it is not necessary to apologize. In the event that someone is attempting to push you into providing free services or the like, politely but firmly set your boundaries and do not budge. It is possible to do this in a kind way, but you must take care not to lose your temper or become irritated. Otherwise, you will risk being unprofessional and unhappy with how you handled the matter.

4. Go on date nights with your spouse.

Schedule them out monthly if you need to, but Plan them and keep them.

No amount of wishing will take you back to these years, and your relationship needs regular, intentional one-on-one time in order to grow and remain strong. A healthy family is built on a healthy marriage, and following your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse needs to come before your children. This habit of placing priority on our marriage over our children feels counter to current American culture. It may even feel awkward at first if you haven’t made this a priority, but it is best to bite the bullet and make the change right now! Your marriage will be better for it.

5. Meal plan, meal plan, meal plan!

Figure out what works best for you and your crew, then do it. Every. Single. Week.

When I think about how much time, money, effort and overall stress I would have saved myself had I adopted this earlier in life, I could almost cry. No joke.

Take some time to sit down and figure out what your week typically looks like, then plan accordingly. For example, I know that on Mondays I write and edit, so that’s a pretty long day - and my only day without kiddos. I also know that on Thursdays we have homeschool co-op and on Fridays my son has basketball practice. So, on Mondays and Fridays I always make dinner in our slow cooker. Thursday night dinners are typically casserole or something easy since we are gone for most of the day. On Wednesday evenings we have church, so Wednesdays are for leftovers or something quick and easy… Get the picture?

I like to plan out a full month at a time, for the most part. I will usually leave one dinner a week open (typically on Tuesday or Saturday) and let our children or my husband weigh in as the week approaches.

6. It’s okay to say “no.”

For the people in the back, I’ll say it again. It’s okay to say “no.”

Before saying “yes” to anything, first ask yourself a few questions. Here are a few questions I’ve begun to ask myself before I say “yes” to anything.

• Who or what does this serve?

• Is this something that I fully agree with or want to align myself with?

• Is this something that someone else with a different skill set or less obligations could do, or am I truly the only person who could do this?

• Is this something that will affect my spouse or children, or both? Positively, or negatively?

• Will this “yes” negatively impact my rest?

• Will this require me to cut back in other areas, or cause me to compromise on prior commitments?

• Do I actually want to do this thing?

This can be such a hard one. I recommend to ask all of these questions (and any others which come to mind), then make a pros/cons list. If you feel expressly led to do this thing, and it will not negatively impact your rest, your family, your relationship/time with God or your prior commitments, then you might be okay to take it on. However, if you find that it will negatively impact any of those things, it might be wise to say no for now.

7. Let people help you.

I know. You don’t want to be an inconvenience. You are perfectly capable of doing it by yourself. I get it. But you need to let others show you love by helping you sometimes. End of story.

This was and is one of the hardest lessons for me to learn and apply. I’m a wife, mom, wedding photographer in Kansas City, author, ministry leader, homeschool mama, mentor, teacher, and any number of other titles you want to throw at me in a given day. I’m constantly juggling roles, hats, responsibilities, deadlines, dinner, dishes, laundry; you name it, I do it. And if I’m being honest…it kind of rankles me to think that I need help sometimes. But friends? This is good old fashioned pride, and we need to turn away from that attitude:

We ALL need help sometimes.

When your friend offers to drop off dinner because she can tell you’re struggling, say YES. When your sister offers to watch the kids for an hour so you can have a cup of coffee in silence, say YES. When your husband hands you the keys and tells you to take the night off, don’t argue! Say YES!

Accept the help with grace and acknowledge that you will one day return the favor for someone else.

8. Do things you enjoy.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day responsibilities that we lose sight of little pleasures. Take time to slow down and do things you love.

Take a walk. Read a book. Crochet a scarf. Cook a meal from scratch. Play the piano. Whatever it is that you enjoy, carve out space and do that thing.

I love writing, as well as photography, but over the course of this year I found myself only doing those things I was committed to doing and missing the sheer pleasure of doing the things I loved for the sake of doing them. So, I decided to be intentional in 2020, and have started a few new projects: a 365 Photography Project, a Self Portrait Project, and a daily blog. (Click through the links to check them out!)

9. Be grateful.

Not one of us knows the number of days we are granted here.

Dear friend. No one knows the day or hour the time they are given here will end. We must live every moment, every breath, with grateful hearts, and harbor no bitterness or resentment in any dark corner. Each one of us was placed here in this age for a specific purpose, and God alone knows how long He has ordained for our lives.

Live every day as if it could be your last. Leave no kind word unsaid, no heartfelt encouragement unspoken. If you haven’t come to terms with the God Who made you and come into relationship with His Son, Jesus, I implore you to speak to Him right now, today, and to listen for His reply.

10. Serve others.

When you have the chance to serve someone else, do it joyfully.

When you have the chance to do a load of laundry for a friend, or take someone a meal, or accompany them to a difficult doctor’s appointment, do it. Offer to be their person, immediately and with joy. To be able to serve others in these everyday ways is a great privilege, and one we often take for granted until we are no longer able to serve so readily.

As we welcome 2020 with bright eyes and buoyant hearts, reflect with me on these Lessons from 2019 and tell me in the comments below - what did you learn in 2019? And what are you embracing in 2020?

XO,

Merry