“What’s God been saying to your heart lately?”

I asked the question with a half-smile. You never really know what a seven year old might say to any question, let alone one that involves God.

He had finished his first piano lesson, and the two of us were eating a late dinner over a high-top table at his favorite pizza place, because when your biggest Little asks for a spontaneous “date” with Mama in the middle of a pandemic, and you’re able to oblige...well, you do that thing. With joy.

He stared quietly at the slice of pizza on his plate for a moment before he sighed and took another bite. “It’s Elle, Mom. He’s been talking to my heart about how I treat Elle.”

He chewed and swallowed, before brushing the crumbs all over his shirt in his hurried way. “I try really hard to be patient with her. And I DO love her, Mom. And I know she really loves me. But sometimes when I am doing something, she just bothers me and bothers me on purpose. And I try not to get angry and say mean things, but then she doesn’t stop and doesn’t stop until the mean things in my heart just come right up out of my mouth! And I know right away it was wrong, but then it’s already done. I WANT to be kinder, but I literally CAN’T.”

Frustration and resignation rippled over his face. I blinked back tears, swallowed the lump in my throat, and silently thanked my Father for preaching the gospel to me through the words of a child again, before leaning in to share some good news with him.

Because the gospel really is that simple.

We can’t.

We can’t change ourselves.

We can’t change our feelings, or our thoughts, or even our mindsets.

We can’t do enough, or say enough, or give enough, or be enough, to ever set right all that’s wrong in us.

Culture woos us and tells us we can’t change, but it’s okay. It’s just the way we are. The world shouts there’s no sense fighting it. We should just give in to who we are and embrace our true selves.

The gospel quickens us and whispers we can’t change, but it isn’t and will never be okay, not without Jesus. It is the way we are now, but it’s not the way we have to stay. And we don’t have to fight it, we just have to surrender it to our Father, as He makes us like His Son.

We are powerless to rid ourselves of sin, or to make ourselves good, and righteous. But we can be honest, release our death-grip on the self-life and surrender to Christ alone.

And we must keep surrendering, every day.

Every hour. Every breath.

Because it’s only in surrender that we can be transformed. It’s only in surrender we are made free.

_________________________

“And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭9:23-24‬ ‭NASB‬‬