Keep or Toss? A Review of Wedding Traditions

One of the most fun parts about my career as a wedding photographer in Kansas City is when I get the chance to sit down with my couples to talk about their plans for their wedding day. During these meetings, we flesh out what the day will look like, from getting ready, to putting on the dress, to First Looks, to ceremony and reception, and grand exit. I have yet to facilitate one of these timeline planning meetings when a bride or groom didn’t ask, “What ARE all the wedding traditions I should know about?”

As we turn the corner into “wedding season,” it’s the perfect time to review wedding traditions and decide which ones are worth continuing, and which ones we should allow to retire. There are many resources with lists of wedding traditions, so I’m including a few of the main ones, as well as several wedding reception traditions worth reviewing.

Keep or Toss? A Review of Wedding Traditions

The Bridal Bouquet

In ancient Rome and Greece, the bride carried a bridal bouquet of aromatic herbs and spices down the aisle, to ward off evil spirits. In 1840, thanks to the marriage of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, brides began to carry a favorite flower down the aisle.

While some modern bridal bouquets may be aromatic, most brides prefer a delicate spray of lush florals. Peonies, roses, hyacinths, tulips, hydrangea, and a colorful plethora of blooms can be used to make up a brilliant bouquet, and in my opinion this is one of the typical wedding traditions every bride should keep. 

The Wedding Veil

The wedding veil offers another nod to ancient times, when brides would wear a veil to disguise their faces from any evil spirits that might want to wreak havoc on their wedding day.

Many modern brides choose to skip the veil, but there are also many who choose to wear it for the ceremony. This is truly a matter of preference. As a wedding photographer, I can vouch for the fact that veils do afford you the opportunity for some truly romantic and dramatic wedding photos, but if the thought of wrestling a veil is bothersome, you can certainly choose to skip this one. 

Some brides split the difference and wear a veil during the first look, ceremony and photos, and remove it before the reception, while others wear the veil for the first look and ceremony, only. Whichever option you choose, this is one wedding tradition I don’t anticipate to vanish any time soon.

Something “Old, New, Borrowed, Blue”

The tradition of the bride wearing “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue” comes from an old English rhyme and names four items that will bring “good luck” to brides on their wedding day.

The “something old” represents a nod to the couples’ past, while the “something new” is to symbolize the bright future ahead of them. “Something old” is typically a family heirloom or gift. “Something borrowed” is generally from someone who is married happily, with the intent that some of their marriage vibes will be transferred to the bride, and “something blue” represents love and fidelity.

This tradition is a beautiful way to incorporate special family heirlooms, tokens or trinkets, such as a hand embroidered handkerchief, or an item of jewelry. While it may take a little thinking to acquire each item on this list, this is a fun and sweet tradition worth continuing.

The Bouquet Toss

The tradition of tossing the bridal bouquet originated in England. It was considered good luck to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress or bouquet, so she would throw the bouquet over her shoulder and run away.

Thankfully, this is no longer the case and is instead what some brides consider a fun event at their wedding reception. That being said, this is one tradition that can cause a fair amount of stress and anxiety for your single friends. No one appreciates undue attention being drawn to their relationship status, and there’s nothing that puts a spotlight on all the single ladies like...well, this. 

If you have a number of young girls and teens who will be attending, you might want to have a bouquet toss, but if not, I would recommend you reevaluate if you want to include this tradition in your wedding reception.

The Garter Toss

The tradition of tossing the garter also originated in England. It was considered good luck and “encouragement” to the happy couple to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress or bouquet, as well as to take her garter. As a way of appeasing the guests, the bride and groom would toss her bouquet and garter to distract the guests so they could get away.

In modern weddings, typically the bride will sit in a chair while the groom removes her garter and tosses it over his shoulder to eligible bachelors. While it may be done in fun and the name of tradition, I’ve noticed this is usually uncomfortable for the bride and groom, and their families. It can quickly take an elegant reception from fun to raunchy with one decision from the DJ. While this may make for a fun photo op, this is another of what I consider outdated wedding traditions. 

My recommendation? Toss it. The tradition, that is.

Father-Daughter and Mother-Son Dances

The tradition of Father-Daughter dances originated long ago when women were “given in marriage” to men (sometimes strangers.) The father would demand a final dance with his daughter before giving her away.

The origin may be distasteful to consider, but in modern times Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dances are viewed as a sweet way to acknowledge someone who has poured so much of their life into you. 

Wedding days can be so hectic, with hardly a moment for a genuine exchange between parent and child. The Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dances are an opportunity to slow down, connect and create a special memory with each other. 

Even if you choose not to have a dance at your reception, don’t rob your mothers or fathers of this moment. Even if it means little to you, do this as a sweet gift for them. They will appreciate the relatively quiet moment to reflect on how you’ve grown, and to acknowledge that you are really married now. 

Of all the wedding traditions, this is one you should keep if at all possible.

Wedding Cake

The tradition of wedding cake dates back to ancient Rome, when it was considered good luck to break a barley cake over the bride’s head. 

While breaking cake over a bride’s head might not be the norm anymore, wedding cake is still a well loved wedding tradition. Light, fluffy cake is iced and frosted to perfection and displayed on tiers until the bride and groom cut the cake together.

Wedding cake is one of the typical wedding traditions I love, but lately I’ve seen more and more couples opting for something more unconventional. One recent couple chose individual bundt cakes in lieu of traditional wedding cake. Another opted for an ice cream truck to serve treats outdoors for their guests. Still another couple chose to serve various pies, while another couple wanted chocolate chip cookies. 

There are dozens of ways to make this your own if you’re not the biggest fans of wedding cake. Whatever you choose, your guests will appreciate the “sweet” gesture.

This list doesn’t include every wedding tradition, but it does include the ones my couples ask about the most. Some other wedding traditions you might want to consider include: matching bridesmaids dresses, not seeing each other before the wedding, and wedding favors.

What did I forget? Tell me in the comments below, then share with someone you know who is engaged!

Happy Planning!

Merry